Cozumel - What to do?

decisions. decisions. decisions. this decision involves what to do on our excursion in cozumel. i would love to see the ruins at tulum but the actual time there is only 1 1/2 hours. the rest consists of 5 1/2 hours of boat/bus travel. i have found that there are ruins on cozumel but they are not on a scale as the ruins of tulum. the catch is that the ruins are accessible only by atv or dune buggy (not high on my list of ways of travel).

the other option is a day on a secluded beach - me and the bf - at an all-inclusive resort. i'm really torn. i've never been to mexico and this is the opportunty of a lifetime. who knows when i could see the ruins again. but by the same token who knows when the bf and i will have access to a secluded beach again.

22 days and counting.

Cozumel

In a very short time I will be going on my first cruise. As part of the cruise I will be able to visit Cozumel, Mexico - another first since I have never been out of the country. To say I am excited is an understatement. I honestly do not know where to start. I've been looking at the excursions available and I'm torn. A day at an all-inclusive resort where we can relax or several hours by boat and car to the ruins of Tolum for a visit that will amount to approximately 2 hours. I would love to see the Mayan Pyramids but I do not want to be in a car and boat all day. It isn't as if we can't go back later but I honestly do not know which to choose.

And then there is the cruise itself. What excites me most is the view I will have of the night sky at sea. No light pollution. Just the moon and the stars and the reflections on the water. I've been reading reviews of our ship and it sounds like the right ship for a first cruise - not too big but big enough to have a lot to do. I'm worried about what I will wear though. During the day I will be fine but I do know I need at least one formal dress and I don't have anything.

2008 is quickly coming to a close. overall it has been a very good year. i didn't reach all my goals for the year but i did make a lot of progress. i did complete the 5k. i didn't run it all (ran about 1/3 to 1/2 of it). i did manage to land a very good job that i am quite happy in. my bf and i will have been living together almost a year. i stage managed several great shows and had an awesome part in another show. i completed an acting class that was very productive. the best part of my year? the bf. together for over two years now. he's the best part of my life.

disappointments:

news/national
the stupidity of the american people in electing a socialist president and disguising it under the umbrella of racism/civil rights. elections are not about the color of skin or the importance of the first this or that. instead they should be about the best choice for the american people.

the stupidity of the sitting president in encouraging the nationalization of the banking, mortgage and auto industries. up to this point i've not had an issue with dubya but these choices were incredibly stupid for a so-called republican.

the ever-growing national debt that is financed by china.


personal
not reaching my weight goal
not getting op's crap out of my house
a certain relationship in my family - can someone really be that blind? shouldn't the "i'm married but i only want to date you if you want to marry me" be a clue that something is not quite right with a person
not reaching my savings goal

sadness
losing my grandfather. i miss you terribly pappaw. things aren't the same without you.



delights!!!!
the new job
watching my niece and my bf's niece grow older
watching my nephews grow into responsible young men
my theatre family
new friendships
the bf (of course)


so, with the exception of the idiot relationship and the loss of my pappaw it has been a good year overall. the other disappointments (while annoying) really do not matter so much in the long run.

i will have new goals for next year soon.

Product Review - ClickArt 950,000 v2 - It SUCKS!

one of my "side jobs" is writing articles for a site. as part of that project i wanted to spif up (do people still say that) my articles with images so i ordered broderbund's clickart 950,000 v2. i've had the product almost three weeks and have yet to see an image using the product. i cannot search the images through the installe program. i've used the help menu and tried to use the website (fyi the customer service link brings up "page not found). i've used broderbund products in the past and realize they are crude and basic but i've never had this sort of problem before.

considering i can manage illustrator with no problem and maneauver through cad you'd think a basic graphics program would be a breeze. not the case.


final thought: this is going back for a refund.

scrooge or no scrooge

in the past i've really been a scrooge when it comes to christmas. the whole holiday season (which starts in SEPTEMBER now) is far too commercial for my tastes. in addition i hate all the stress and family dynamics that come with the holiday season. quite honestly, for most of my adult life i haven't even put up a christmas tree.

all that started changing just over two years ago when i met my bf. he loves the holidays. he plans ahead for his gifts and is usually done shopping by thanksgiving. he puts a lot of thoughts into gifts. your first impression of him would probably be that he doesn't really listen to much of what you say. but when you watch him pick out gifts you realize exactly how much he listens and sees in the lives of those around him. i have honestly never seen someone who could pick out the perfect gift for anyone repeatidly. he also has traditions. movies and christmas shows that must be watched. family events that happen. nothing is last minute.

since meeting him i've begun putting up a tree. i try to plan my gifts a little more ahead than in the past (we are three weeks from christmas and may shopping is approximately 25% complete. we're even sending our first "couple" christmas cards this year...complete with our super sweet "couple" photo.

the problem is old habits are hard to break. how do you go from hating christmas, hating the pressur of gifts and family gatherings and all the infighting that brings to loving christmas and living the true meaning of the holiday?

i don't know. all i know is that i'm no longer the scrooge i was.

A Great Man

My pappaw quietly passed away yesterday.

He was an amazing man. He grew up during the great depression. His father died during the great influenza epidemic of the 1920s. His mother remarried a much younger man who I knew as Daddy Vincent. He didn't talk till he was three years old - and once he started he never stopped. His family move so many times finding work that he wasn't always in one place long enough to learn his teachers' names. One of his early jobs was cleaning roads as part of the WPA that was instituted by FDR. He played industrial league ball.

As a young man he took one of his paychecks and bought a round-trip ticket to the Gulf Coast because he had never seen an ocean or a beach. He rode the train all night, got off and saw the ocean and hopped back on the train to go back to work. What mattered was that he was able to see something he hadn't seen before.

He married a beautiful woman, my grandmother, and they raised three incredible children. They worked hard, saved and planned for the future.

In WWII he joined the Air Force. He worked on planes. One of his bunk mates was Vince Minelli (you may know him by Vincent Minelli - Liza's father). His comment on Vince: "He couldn't pitch a tent to save his life." He even played ball with professional ball players.

After the war he became a steelworker and she was the homemaker. After a while they were able to build their dream home. It was my home too on many occasions. He became a union representative/lobbiest in the 1970s. He would take us with him when he travelled. Because of him I was able to meet George Wallace when I was about five years old. The two of them took us many, many, many places. Often the kids slept on the floor because we had just enough money for where we were going and what we were doing. Of course we didn't care because we were kids and sleeping on the floor was an adventure. The best part of the trips was the fact that no matter where we were he knew people.

Even though he eventually retired from work he never really retired. He sold real estate, repaired lawn mowers, collected and rebuilt spindle sewing machines, grew cacti and aloe plants. He even cleaned roads again just for something to do.

He collected everything. He had coins (given to the great grandkids), license plates, tools, plants, lawn mowers, sewing machines, pianos, cans, pens, matchbooks and there is no telling what else. He was so bad at collecting "things" that my grandmother said the day he came home with a second wife that was it. She may have been a little serious.

The man survied three open heart surgeries.

The last few years were not easy. His vision failed him. His knees failed him. His mind failed him. He was depressed and angry that he could no longer live the life he had once lived. He blame my aunt for losing his license. He blamed my dad for taking his truck away from him. He blamed himself for having to depend so much on my grandmother.

The last time I saw him he told me he just wanted to die. I couldn't say anything so I just hugged him. I hugged him tightly like I did when I was a little girl.

I love this man. I know he loved me. I have never doubted that in my life. I know life will be different now. There will always be something missing, some sense of security that I felt knowing he was there for me, that he was in my corner.

Pappaw, I love you and I will miss you so much.

Credit Crisis?

I'm still in a ranting mood on this topic. Our government is poised to take its own stakes in the Banking Industry. I honestly do not see this as a necessary move. These institutions made the decisions to a)grant credit to customers who were not credit worthy and b)to overextend the number of loans to a point that they did not have sufficient cash reserves. As a result of extremely stupid (and greedy) management decisions the government is having larger, more stable banks buy up the unstable banks which is leading to a monopoly in the banking industry in several areas of the country. On top of that the recently passed "Banking Panic Legislation" gives the federal government the authority to own stakes in any bank it sees in danger. In other words we will have nationalized banking the moment the US government sees fit to seize all the banks. Doesn't it leave you all warm and fuzzy to know that all of your financial needs will be handled by the US government (with the debt being backed by China, of course)?

We The Dumbasses

A few days and it's done. A few days, a barrage of media panic and a bunch of self-serving politicians is all it took to change the United States from a country whose purpose was individual freedom to a country whose focus is socialism. For all intents and purposes the Mortgage Industy is now under government control with the Banking Industry following close behind. The cost so far? $400,000 USD for every man, woman and child in the United States (not sure if illegals are included in this tally).

Health Care will shortly become socialized as the push for all OTC drugs for children under the age of six to be removed will happen. In one fell sweep many Americans will have to forfeit food, heat, rent, etc. in order to take a child to the doctor to be prescribed medications for a simple cold or fever. The kicker is many of these medications were formerlly available by prescription only so they have been tested. My inner smart ass says that any bill that goes through should include a provision that all health care providers must treat all children under the age of six free of charge with no reimbursement from the insurance companies or the government. Let's just see how much they truly believe the bullshit they are spewing.

The worst part of this is that in the grand scheme of things life will not noticeably change...except at tax time. At first most of these changes will be inconveniences and we will become accustomed to them. As we do the changes will move further away from individual choices and closer to socialist choices. We are giving up all of our freedom because of minor inconveniences, routine cycling of the markets and just plain laziness.

We, the people, are a bunch of dumbasses!!!


*all grammatical errors/misspellings are intentional*

Pappaw's Birthday

The joy of family

Family gatherings are always stressful events for me. In my family every single person thinks they are in charge. We have our own little groups (some of which give the air of looking down on others). Of course, we have our grudges against each other for reasons real or imagined. But this weekend we had a gathering where none of these issues matter. We celebrated my grandfather’s 90th birthday.

My grandfather is an amazing man. He lost his father during the flu epidemic of the early 20th century. He came of age during the depression working with WPA. His job was to pick up trash along the highway. It was a job he was grateful to have. His meager paycheck was taken home to his mother. In his twenties he married a beautiful woman (my grandmother who is still beautiful). During WWII he was a member of the US Air Force and was bunkmates with Vincent Minelli. After the war he worked in a steel mill, eventually working as a lobbiest for his union. He “retired” at least three different times, each time taking on a new career that interested him. During this time he raised a family of three, built his own home and was a responsible and involved citizen of his community and church. After he raised his own family he helped to raise his grandchildren and his grandchildren’s children. In other words, he has lived an amazing life.

Four years ago he had his third open-heart surgery. After the first two we all expect him to recover quickly and return to his active lifestyle. However, this time his recovery was slow and his attitude was bitter. His memory began to slip and he was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. He had a stroke and lost vision in one of his eyes which caused his doctor to recommend his license be revoked. This brought forth more anger and bitterness. Over the last few months his vision reached the point of legal blindness. He can no longer see the television or read the paper. His response was to slip into an attitude of nothingness with brief glimpses of even more anger and bitterness at what he had lost.

I say all this because this weekend I was able to see the man he once was. He wasn’t active physically but his mind was aware. He talked. He smiled. He even laughed. Being around his family-children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, siblings, nieces and more brought a joy to his face that I have not seen in over a year.

For each and every one of us the most important thing we could do was to be there for him. Our petty differences didn’t matter. Only his happiness mattered.

patios, 5ks and shows - total randomness

we have a large yard and it has a lot of grass. it can take several hours to mow. today the decision was made to eliminate some of that area. we are going to put out patio bricks over a large area outside the door eliminating some of the time we hve to spend on the mowers. i am very excited about this.

it's that time of the year again. the komen race for the cure is in october and i am organizing a team from the theatre. unfortuntely for me summer hours took away two months of training. i'm not back at square one but i am close. my goal had been to run the whole race but now the realistic goal will be to run 1 to 1 1/2 miles. i want to do the race in 40 minutes which is a little over 13 minutes a mile. i know that is not an impressive time but for me it will be the best time i've walked/run since i was in high school (eight minute mile with bronchitis, thank you).

odd couple just finished up and it was the most fun i've had stage managing any show. we had a small cast who got along fabulously. now we are working on dearly departed. i'm playing an 85 year old woman. btw, wigs are itchy.

the family reunion plannig is back on track. bellydancing classes are back. so are acting classes. next month i'll be adding a couple of computer classes for work.

Today's Lesson: The Double Standard

The bad news is...staying news-free is nearly impossible. The good news is that the media has once again proven how narrow-minded the liberal left truly is. McCain chose a VP who happens to be a woman who has an infant child, a blue collar husband and a very pregnant 17 year old daughter. The last few days have been nothing but coverage of these stories. Even the entertainment shows are covering this crap. And yet...the liberal left misses the fact that Barak Obama's mother was 17 and unwed. It attacks anyone who dares approach a very ADULT Chealsey Clinton that has campaigned for her mother. The liberal media thinks that anyone who dares to approach these subjects is leading a vicious and unethical attack against innocents...except when it benefits their cause.

So to the liberal left media...you've just opened pandora's box.


We now return to being utterly uninformed.

Underappreciated Professions

Last weekend I had my first pedicure in three years. I love pedicures, especially the ones that come with a massage chair and actual foot and calves massages. And I absolutely love the way my freshly painted toes look for days and weeks after.

While I was there I began to think what a nasty job this must be. The pedicurist is constantly messing with another person's dirty, nasty feet for eight or more hours a day. Corns, calluses, bunions and various fungi. So many disgusting types of nails. Cracked heels and hairy feet (not to mention some very unshaven legs). To do this with a smile and a good attitude takes a special person.

Even more important is the care with which these people treat your feet. You'd be surprised at how many people do not know that foot care affects your whole body. Think for just a minute about the last time your feet were bothering you. I'll bet you'll think of another part of your body that was just as sore or tired. There is a reason for this. Your foot has never endings that correspond to every part of your body. It is as if someone laid a mini line of cable from your feet all the way to your head. To have someone come along and massage and care for those sore, aching feet is to have someone take care of your whole body.

So to all you pedicurists out there I send you my grateful thanks.

News-free and Loving It

Normally I consider myself a well-informed citizen. I watch the news. I read newspapers and magazines. I follow politics and world events (and am one of a very few in my circle who knows more about foriegn leaders than just their names). I even make the effort to check congressional records to see how my leaders are voting (as opposed to how they are campaigning).


But a few weeks ago I reached my limit. The media (both right and left) has been increasingly pandering to emotion and ignoring actual news. The offending story dealt with a local teen at a nightclub who murdered two people in front of several witnesses. The murder was also caught on a security camera. What offended me was the use of terms such as "the suspect" and "the accused" along with the litany of "character witnesses" who attested to the fact that this murderer would never do something like this.

I understand that we, as a society, do not want to find an innocent man guilty and that we must do all we can to preserve that freedom. However, if the MF who killed someone carried out his crime in front of several people AND on a security camera shouldn't we just drop the charade and call it what it is. This man is a murderer. He is not a suspect. He is not the alleged murderer. He is the murder.


On to other news rants...

Global warming: If somebody wasn't making money off of peoples fears of global warming there would be no such theory. Let's face it, those who have bought the load of crap being fed to the public by leftist haven't done their research. Actually those "presenting" said research haven't checked the math in their own work...it's wrong. We are now being told that an overall cooling of the planet is the result of global warming. Can we say double talk? And paying someone to offset your carbon footprint? Can't happen people. But if you must pay someone please send a $20 donation to me and I will gladly plant an acorn so that your global conscience will feel better. I think you'll find my fees more reasonable than the machine feeding you the global disaster panic.

US Presidential Election: Let's face it, our candidates suck this year. Obama is an extreme leftist and McCain is so much a centrist he is just a little on the left (check his voting record). Obama, in spite of internet rumors, is NOT a muslim (how many Muslim-dominated countries are liberal?). McCain has the war experience but will be dealing with a Democrate Senate and House. Obama wants to take over the oil companies. McCain wants to give us a gas tax break and charge the oil companies the difference (like this profits tax won't find its way to our pocket books). And, Obama, in all his wisdom looks like he will choose the Banshee for a running mate (if he does, expect some unexpect "accident" to befall him if he is elected).

The economy: There is no recession. There is only an election year with one party determined to regain power. If that means they must convince the masses that the economy has tanked and we are going to be worse off than we were during the depression then so be it. Unfortunately, our goverment has FU education so much that no one really knows what constitutes a receission any more. If you are one of those who don't I recommend finding a dictionary and looking it up.

So now that I've ranted about the craptacular news let me say that I have been in a much better mood since taking my sabbatical.

new paypal alternative

there's a (somewhat) new competitor to paypal for online shopping. revolution money exchange offers the same services as paypal without all the fees. curious? check it out:

Time for an Update

Life has a funny way of interrupting our best laid plans. Sometimes this is for the best, sometimes it is for the worst. Then other times, it just is.

We had planned on my bf moving in this June. Everything was laid out and going according to plan until we realized his lease ended in February instead. So everything was moved up four months and our plans were crunched up four months. Add to that one car needing multiple repairs, one car going completely out, one bout of flu and one bout of pneumonia and you could say that life (at least financially) has been very stressful.

Along with this comes the normal adjustments of having someone living in what was once your own space. For two people in their 30s who have never shared a living space this is definately an adjustment that takes conscious effort. In some areas (cooking, cleaning) we are having fewer problems than I had envisioned. In others (computer time) we are having more trouble than I could have imagined. The upside is we are talking our way through these things.

Bottom line...in spite of some stressful days I wouldn't change his being here for anything.

To update on the training for the 5k...the flu gave me a couple of weeks of set back due to recovery time. I'm now running almost four minutues of my walk and I'm walking four miles instead of one. Not bad but not where I'd like to be.

Career-wise, I think I may have found what I was looking for. I'm hoping things will be finalized on this front within the next few weeks.

I'm still not certain about the direction I want this blog to take so for now it will continue with my ramblings. Sometimes being a Jane-of-all-trades makes these decisions harder.

Three Months Until the Next 5k

Last October I participated in my first 5k walk/run. It was the Koman Race for the Cure. I ran only 1/2 mile and walked the rest of the way. Spring is coming and now it is time to start preparing for my next 5k in April. My goal this time is to run the whole race, however, I would be happy to be able to run 2 miles of the circuit.

Training has begun again. I'm using the Couch Potato to 5k Plan (modified). I will be walking only for the next two weeks. After that I will begin to run in 30 second increments. This will give my body time to adjust and help prevent my poor knees from protesting so much.

It's another step to one of my goals for 2008.

Choices, Careers and Hope

Chances are at some point in your life you will be working in a position that pays less than you want/deserve, that may not be on the up and up, that may be full of practices that clash with your ethics and that may not be financially solvent. It doesn't matter how or why you got there though. You can find a way out.

The first step is to not quit without having another job. For some reason employers will view you as a less desireable candidate if you are not working. What I suggest doing is starting a countdown. Each day you work is one day closer to your last day there. Keep this in mind and you can make it till you find a new job.

Next, update your resume and contact your references to let them know they will be getting calls about you.

Now you need to start the job hunt. Be realistic. Finding a good position takes a lot longer than finding any position. Take into consideration that job hunting is almost a full-time job in itself. Anything you can do to save time will be a benefit. Own a fax machine? Have a resume ready to fax at all times. If you do cover letters (you guys know I personally hate them and think they are a waste but play nice with the HR departments), have some typed up and saved on your computer, ready to print at a moment's notice.

Eventually you are going to be called for interviews so start saving up comp time, sick days, vacation days and personal days. You are going to need them.

Once you are offered a position you need to give notice. Be gracious in your notice but be prepared for snarky comments about it. For some reason employers in less than desireable businesses have an attitude of "you owe us no matter how wrong we've done you" and "you've blown everything out of proportion." So quitting is a major insult to these people. If you are able to give full notice (two weeks) just be prepared to gather your things as soon as the notice is turned in.

If you work in a "Right to Work" state then you are not required to give notice and the employer cannot give a bad reference if you quit with no notice. The law wasn't written for this purpose. It was written for the employer's benefit but the wording states that ANYONE can terminate at anytime without notice--that includes you.

If conditions are so bad you can't take going in any longer then take a look at some lower paying jobs as a TEMPORARY solution...fast food, retail, etc.

The most important thing is to not lose hope. Your job search may seem hopeless at times, especially if it drags on for months. Your situation is only temporary. You will find another job.

Goals Update

it is the second week of the new year. at this point i have found another job (temp to perm) and have a third interview on a job i have been working on for a couple of months. it is as if the negative energy of the former job was just that...negative energy. i feel both blessed and honored to be in the position i am in at the moment. i am also confused. i am faced with the very real possibility of chosing between two wonderful new positions that both offer exactly what i am looking for.

as part of respecting myself i have increased the amount of exercise from irregular to at least stretching daily. it is also about time to begin the couch to 5k program again. i half-attempted it last year and was able to achieve half of the program. the goal is to be able to run a full 5k this spring.

as part of growing my relationship i have agreed to work on quelling my road rage.

Ac-cen-tuate the Positive

As part of respecting myself (one of my goals for the new year) I am working towards a more positive outlook in general. The irony is that when one sets a goal to be positive life choses that exact moment to test you by throwing so many wrong things at you. This would be so much easier if life had a grown-up kindergarten program.

2008 Goals, Dreams, and Whimsey

my goals for 2008:

*keep growing the love with the bf. we have a huge adjustment ahead of us at the end of feb when he moves in. two people in their mid-30s who've never had a live-in relationship before. it's a good thing we are compatible.

*find that elusive job that i know is waiting for me. all i want is a job that pays decent, has benefits and allows me to do theatre. oh wait, i do want something else, a job that pays on time and without the payroll check bouncing.

*buy the house. yeppers, teh bf and i have decided to make an offer on our home. keep your fingers crossed

*for my car to need no more than regular tune-ups and fluid changes for the next 12 months

*to respect myself. that means losing weight, exercising, learning to tell others no instead of yes, taking care of myself

*to win a major lottery or else the pch $5k/week for life sweepstakes (well somebody has to win)